Men and Chocolates, Fk Off!

Valentine’s Day is a capitalist farce—plain and simple. Every year, like clockwork, we’re flooded with ads selling us this idea that love can be bought. And the biggest, most hypocritical symbol of this is chocolate. Don’t get me wrong, chocolate’s great, but it’s been co-opted by an industry that’s more about reinforcing outdated gender norms than actually celebrating anything real.

The history of Valentine’s Day is a lovely little mix of commercialization, patriarchy, and consumerism, all wrapped up in red ribbons. Western capitalism has long tied the idea of “love” to a price tag, and nothing exemplifies this better than the promotion of chocolate as the go-to gift. There’s this entire mythology around chocolate, as if it’s the key to a woman’s heart, this magical, sensual substance that—surprise—only men can buy. Think about it: advertisements constantly link chocolate to desire, temptation, and indulgence. But who’s doing the indulging? It’s always a woman who gets depicted as a passive object of desire, someone who needs to be “won over” with a box of truffles or a shiny chocolate bar.

In countless films, chocolate has been used as a tool of seduction, a way to reinforce male power over women’s desires. Remember those iconic rom-com scenes where the leading man, usually decked out in an outdated suit, presents the woman with a decadent box of chocolates as if he’s about to open the floodgates to her heart? It’s all so predictable. From Pretty Woman to Notting Hill, the idea that a man can “buy” a woman’s love, or at least her affection, with a sweet treat has been hammered into our brains.

But let’s call out the ugly truth here: it’s not just about romance—it’s about control. Chocolates have become a shorthand for male power in the context of heterosexual relationships. The idea is that a man’s gift—a material item—has the ability to influence a woman’s emotions and desires. This commodification of love, especially during Valentine’s Day, only further reinforces gendered stereotypes: men are the givers, the pursuers, the ones in charge. Women? Well, they’re the passive recipients, the objects to be wooed, convinced, and ultimately “won” with chocolates.

It’s a tired narrative that’s been drilled into us for decades. But here’s where things get interesting: it doesn’t have to be this way anymore.

We live in a time where gender dynamics are shifting—slowly, maybe, but definitely. The idea of love as a transactional exchange is starting to lose its grip. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about a man buying chocolates for a woman to prove he cares; it could be about real, meaningful connections, ones that don’t need the glossy veneer of capitalism to feel validated. Why does Valentine’s Day always have to hinge on some outdated notion of love that involves men showering women with gifts (which, let’s be honest, are often more about the giver’s ego than anything else)?

Let’s face it—chocolates can f**k off. In fact, they should be the first thing to go when it comes to the commercialization of love. No, seriously. Why should we keep pretending that love is about buying someone’s affection? Let’s drop the clichés and embrace something new. Let’s redefine what love actually means, starting with a rejection of this weird, patriarchal tradition.

Instead of chocolates, what if Valentine’s Day became a celebration of autonomy, respect, and partnership? What if it wasn’t about buying into some ridiculous idea that romance equals material gifts? Love isn’t about buying someone’s affection—it’s about shared experience, mutual respect, and emotional connection. And for the love of God, let’s not associate it with the idea of “temptation” and “indulgence,” which in most movies, translates to objectifying women for their pleasure, or worse, for the male gaze.

We can create new traditions where Valentine’s Day isn’t a moment of transactional exchanges but an opportunity to redefine what it means to be in a relationship. And no, this doesn’t mean ditching the “romantic” altogether—it means making it real, making it reciprocal. Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be another day where we reinforce outdated gender roles and capitalist expectations. We can make it about equality, about celebrating love in all its forms, without the need for overblown consumerism to give it meaning.

So here’s a bold thought: maybe this year, let’s say “f**k off” to the chocolates and the consumer-driven, patriarchal nonsense that comes with it. Maybe we can start a new tradition—one where love is measured by respect and genuine connection, not by how much someone is willing to spend on a hollow gesture. Valentine’s Day can be more than just a reminder of how commercialized our emotions have become. It can be a fresh start, a chance to rewrite the narrative, to take back the meaning of love and redefine it for ourselves. Chocolate? Nah, not needed anymore.