Rifftrax: Day of the Assassin (2022)

Our suave leading man and seductive international man of mystery: a leathery wizened Chuck Connors (of The Rifleman and Tourist Trap.) Detective John Shaft himself, Richard Roundtree. Full time bad guy from Megaforce and Escape From The Bronx, and about a million other things once you start noticing him, Henry Silva. And several other brown-haired guys who are really difficult to tell apart. The movie is called Day of the Assassin, so naturally it's about several elite assassins converging on a beach town in Mexico in order to... steal some treasure. Chuck Connors is a painter who just assassinates on the side, but like, it doesn't define him, y'know? He spends most of his time flirting with women a quarter his age, and wearing baseball caps from several different teams. Most incredibly, there's a scene where he tries to impress a woman by playing jazz flute. Yes, it's like Anchorman but sincere. It's packed with weirdly impressive stunts, like a man in a paraglider dropping dynamite on small boats. There's yachts, Middle Eastern intrigue, and do we really have to mention once again the EXTREMELY SEXY Chuck Connors? What more could you need? Grab a flute and some light explosives, then join Mike, Kevin and Bill for Day of the Assassin.