The Onion News Network (2011) | Full Cast

Will Graham

DIRECTOR

J.J. Adler

DIRECTOR

Jon Watts

DIRECTOR

Suzanne Sena

Brooke Alvarez

Brian Huskey

Duncan Birch

Todd Alan Crain

Tucker Hope

Jill Dobson

Madison Daly

Tracy Toth

Tracy Gill

Brad Holbrook

Jim Haggarty

Chris Juell

Todd Grant

Matt Oberg

Tucker Hope

Aaron Lazar

O'Brady Shaw

Michele Ammon

Jean Anne Whorton

Geneva Carr

Diane Connor

George Riddle

Joad Cressbeckler

Ken Rudulph

Blake Randall

Kyla Grogan

Andrea Bennett

Esther David

Jane Carmichael

Klea Blackhurst

Shelby Cross

Marceline Hugot

Mayor Sue Hallinan

John Cariani

Michael Falk

Jeremy Beiler

Jason Copeland

Julie Brister

Lauralee Hickock

Dorothi Fox

Nancy Fichandler

John Mondin

Hot Dog Vendor

Robert D. Heath Jr.

General Cotti

Ryan Blackwell

Tucker Hope

Jay Potter

Steven Hoyer

Bill McHugh

Congressman Mcculough

Rebecka Ray

Alicia

Brendan Burke

Carl Herbertsen

Adam LeFevre

Doug Kranowicz

Jackie Moore

Sexy photographer

Oberon K.A. Adjepong

Future Guy

Ivan Martin

Tom Becker

Mike O'Gorman

John Harris

Chelsey Donn

Rhonda Hale Watts

Darlene Violette

Woman in Silhouette

Kathy Nowrey

Jasmine

Bob Ari

Sen. Dave Tillis

Joe Hansard

Mechanic

Laura Krafft

Paula Norcross

Tom Creel

Congressman Nelson

Susan Barrett

Angry Damaged Woman

Sam Guncler

Financial Reporter: Sam Kemmis

Michael Harrah

Bruce Poole

Heather Pence

Prosecutor

Jeremy McLain

BBQ Factory Explosion Victim

Wesley Broulik

Douglas

Rose Iebba

Sexy Female in Car

Denis Lybe

Congressman Cummings

Nicolina Capitanio

Museum Student

Bob Bowden

Brian Scott

Tina Alexis Allen

Dr. Mills

Ed Stelz

Frat Guy

Eric Rizk

Carl

James Michael Reilly

Researcher James Ahearn

Jessica Rothe

Katie Clemens

Mike Doyle

Punch Banker

Ben Sinclair

Lunatic

Matt Servitto

Dr. Cattey

Leslie Hendrix

Grace North

Adrian Martinez

Actor

Vincent Rodriguez III

Asian Tucker Hope

Mike Houston

Train Conductor

John Rothman

Ronald Noth

Rutanya Alda

Dr. Holbrook

Ben Livingston

Goldenmade CEO

David W. Thompson

Kyle

Guy Lockard

1964 Civil Rights Activist

Susan Blackwell

Carol

Courtney Baxter

Meghan Cleary

Patrick Murney

John Dillow

Edmund Lyndeck

Old Gilgoff

Rachel Maddow

Self

Veronika Dash

Amanda McCormick

Frank Deal

Steve Patterson

Christina Jeffs

Hot Girl

Matthew Faber

Frail Patient: Fred Galen

Eva Kaminsky

PETA Spokesperson

Dena Tyler

Panelist

George R. Sheffey

Mike Brant

Anthony Del Negro

Trevor

Gameela Wright

Danielle's Mom

Jack Mulcahy

Commander David Hawkins

Tibor Feldman

NYC Councilman

Cynthia Mace

Hannah's Mother

Mani Yarosh

Excited Blonde Girl

Daniel O'Shea

Michael Gilroy

Jos Laniado

Pedro

Kevyn Morrow

Dr. Statsky

Therese Plaehn

Waitress

Logan Crawford

Alex Edelman

Mike Huckabee

Self

Dawn McGee

Mary Patterson

Martin Pfefferkorn

Sex Offender

Malachy Cleary

David Barrodale

Andre Ward

James 'Sugar Boots' Franklin

Julie Hays

Gloria Dellinger

Edward M. Kelahan

Sexy man in car

Wally Dunn

Mr. Drucker

Andrew Bambridge

Alien Baby

Morgan Evans

Derrick

Anne Hollister

Girl

Hamilton Clancy

Pete Dufrense

Patrick Cooley

SIURT Operative

Stanley Nallem

Frederick Kid

James Lurie

Voiceover

Jaida-Iman Benjamin

Keily Simms

David Bluvband

Will Tracey

Mario D'Leon

Vix Top Gun

Alberto Vazquez

Roberto Chavez

Arthur French

Duane Willis

Doug Drucker

Rich Martin

Cate Smit

HHS Spokesperson

Danielle McKee

Syrup Covered Woman

Paul Webster

Frank Fisher

Lauren B. Martin

Cruise Publicist

Bryan Scott Johnson

Dr. Thomas Nicholson

Randy Schein

John Stoia

Moujan Zolfaghari

Cathy

Mike Massimino

Beefy Guy 1

David Lavine

Investor

Jean Brassard

French Man

Barbara Marineau

Woman on the Street #2

Caroline Lesley

Carol Logan

Dave T. Koenig

Divorced Dad

Uzimann

Terrorist

Marshall Factora

Joseph Mills

Tod Engle

Zeljko Goran's Lawyer

Gilbert Cruz

FEMA Spokesperson

Bob Celli

Sandow

Richard DeDomenico

Slide Whistle Historian

Brian Berrebbi

Ted 'Hateful Face' Baynes

Marisa Redanty

Ana Goran

Kevin Hagan

Jim Loeber

Max Antisell

Jerrod Gilchrist

John Merolla

Police officer

Julia Knitel

Teen #2

Devin Delliquanti

The Factzone Studio

Robert Berlin

Randy-Motorcycle Gang Leader

Gregory Gunter

40s Man

Sam Oz Stone

Sergeii Goran

Karen Summerton

Allison Bensington

Munro M. Bonnell

Caged Louis

Glenn Kubota

Japanese Historian

Brian Patrick Russell

Tim Seidell

James Cronin

Investor

Betsy Struxness

Applebees Guest

Simon Feil

Panelist

Tracy Friedman

Man Outside Bar

Sebastian Hedges Thomas

Michael McNamee

Vince August

Security Guard

Megan Gunning

Kathy Johnson

Dave Hanson

Jim Richmond

Drucie McDaniel

Zorla Gorgalon

Wayne Scherzer

Dating Agency Chief

Charles Borland

Future Man

Jay Russell

Blake Morris

Doug Trapp

Senator Sutter

Doug Moe

Undercover Cook

Tony White

African American

Margret Echeverria

Woman Outside Bar

Corey Brown

Studio Security

Alice Barden

Gun Toting Mom

Randall Holden

Judge

Rosie Moss

Hot Slut

Peak Kwinarian

Panelist

Pauline Sherrow

Tia Roxy

Thomas Poarch

Drone Attorney

Aaron Moses

Brian

Cynthia Granville

Damaged Women's Spokeswoman

Juliet Adair Pritner

Marie Byron

James Moye

Reporter

Maia Lorian

Jenna

Jean Alexander

Caged Pamela

Jamie Morgan

Anchorwoman Susan Merriwether

Aleks Shaklin

Zeljko Goran

Barbara Ann Davison

Gavin's Mom

Sydney Richardson

Child 1

Hugh Scully

Safety Officer

Victoria Guthrie

Beverly Hill's Neighbor

Eevin Hartsough

Sheila Baynes

Curtis Shumaker

Roger

Edward Sass III

Trick or Treater

Michael Wiener

Gary

Scott Churchson

Popeye's Chicken Guy

Susan Barnes Walker

Spoiler Woman

Graham Kurtz

Ben Trump

Bruce Meakem

Man

Richie Noodles

Arby's Customer

Eric W. Espinosa

Miguel Laviera

Katie Webber

K'Ronikka

Bob Ader

Federal Reserve Spokesman

Kate Riley

Ellen

Zoe Farmingdale

Weeping Damaged Woman

Joseph Ricci

Spencer Gill

Angelo Lopez

Terrorist

Maire-Rose Pike

Nancy Mains

James Fritz

Jared Holbrook

Khemali Murray

Alicia

Jeremy Lee Quinn

Jeremy Lee

John Boonin

Guy

Camille Mazurek

Woman #4

Keith Herron

NASA Official

Darryl D. Moore

Opus

Matt Davis

President Lyndon B. Johnson

Tim J. Ellis

Jeff

Richard Alleman

Gun Owner

Blake Randall

Ken Rudolph

Ben Gooch

Erik the Dick

Patrick Daly

Trevor Wilson

Rasik Ohal

Manav Vishwanath

Tom Knutson

Man 1

Don Striano

Braderman

Brad Bellamy

Slide Whistle Historian

Pete Wiggins

Child 2

Marti Cooney

Woman on the Street #2

Gianna Duran

Girl #2

Susan Neuffer

Anna

Chull Gyu Rhee

Defense Minister: Jun Jung-Hwa

Jarrett Alexander

Lil Fission

Kathryn Gerhardt

Carrie Hastern

Mackenzie Shivers

Wet Sweater Co-Ed

Doug Williford

Congressman Whittle

Peter Rowan

Drunk Man

Francine Berman

Mother of Shaken Manchild

Rob Evans

CEO James Fitch

Marc Raco

John Baughman

Hannah Rose Barfoot

Brenda Fisher

John Gibson

Russell

Sam Moko

Military Police

Andrea Weston

Zorla Supporter 1

Jason Martin

Calvin

Brian Sullivan

Deputy CIA Director

Jonathan Dewberry

Reporter #2

Chris Cavalari

Idiot

Arthur Anderson

Sheriff Stevens

Claudia Kiss

Hera Rodriguez

Jamie Morgan

Susan Merriweather

Nathaniel Bates

Manchild

Sean Well

Farmer

Lawrence Laravela

Police Chief

Ed Lyndeck

Old Gilgoff

Clem Moorman

Guy

Ben Dasaro

Vance

Tabbie Conrad

30's Woman

Ian Holcomb

Shouting Man #1

Ellen Toomey

Anna Cain

Nathan Brisby

Bill Byring

Julia Haubner

Woman

Tim Wynn

Ray Hansen

Todd Aubrey Davis

Caged Roger

Jamie Morgan

Susan Merriweather

Kate Levy

Ronald North's Neighbor: Tammie Sayre

Kristin Carbone

Undercover Waitress

David Orshan

Amanda's Friend Colin

Judith Greentree

Margaret

Cyrilla Baer

Wall Street Woman 1

Carly Joos

Teen #1

Kaylee Souther

Crystal

Jemier Jenkins

Adaira

Dee Dee Moss

Video Female

Michael Berg

Coporate America Head

Jeremy Lee

Self

Dave Aizer

Tom Fontaine

Jason Martin

Calvin Etridge

Nick Sullivan

Health Teacher

Gail Cherie

Woman Crying

Brian Russel

Tim Seidell

Rose Lebba

Sexy Female in Car

Marylin Berry

1964 Civil Rights Activist

Lee Ann Clinton

Drunk Senator Kisser

Tina Alexi Allen

Dr. Natasha Mills

Wendy Force

Woman on the Street

Jennifer Bissel

Hannah

Patrick Ellison Shea

John Ecklund

Mark Gerrard

Stephen Harris

Meagan Robar

Shawna #2

Tina Vanessa Smith

Shawna #1

Johnnie Niel

Reporter #1

Ash Marinaccio

Hailey Boyes (2011)

Susan Janet Cooper

Mrs. Drucker

Brian Fuqua

Gavin Fisher

Clem Moorman

Guy

Michael O'Neill

Dennis

D. Matt Worley

Coach R. Shipley

Christina L. Sivrich

Woman on the Street

Ted Lochwyn

George Petkin

Patrick Flynne

Congressman Ingersoll

Daniel Angus Cox

Edward Tuffy

Steve Weir

Politician

Avocado

Doctor J. Boucher

Phillip Raymond

CEO Megstead

Gregory Giblon

Toby Emmett

James Strauss

Paul Webster

Edward Jones

Greg Newsome

Ron Baden

Ronald North's Neighbor: James Fitch

Carl Kline

Hannah's Father

Jack William Marshall

Andrew Sharpeuncredited